Thursday, May 28, 2009
Yea, that's on my to do list.
I have a life that has been specially formulated to make me socially retarded and untroubled by spending all my time at home. If don't make an effort to, I never have to leave the house at all. I'm like that kid from Sixteen Candles and his parents have to force him to go to prom. It's that bad sometimes and it doesn't help that my world is so well-contained here.
I live with my family because I'm broke. I also somehow ended up being co-nanny for my one-year-old brother since I was just lying around and I just ended up helping. I don't have a real job because I would have no way of getting there unless it is really close to home. I go to school online because I don't have my license/a car. The license is my fault because I also seem to not like driving; this adds to my social awkwardness because apparently being a teenager who is legally allowed to drive should make me automatically love/want to drive. I just don't like it and I wish I did because it would just make life so much easier. Plus, I wouldn't have to let other people who drive like asses drive me around.
Since, I spend a lot of time online for school, I also end up spending a lot of time online to socialize. I have real friends of course, I'm not a weirdo in a basement getting food delivered and not going out into the sunlight. I have many real friends, but many of them don't live nearby and the ones that do have schedules that conflict with my time out of the cave. I don't know how many times my friends and I make plans to hang out before it actually happens. This leads me to spend way too much time talking to people online. I would feel bad for myself, but I have met some of the coolest people this way. One of my newest friends, I made on AIM and he is one of the coolest people I've talked to in a while. Luckily, I can also confirm he isn't just some creep.
I guess, I just need to snap myself out of it. What else is there to do?
I can't expect for my social awkwardness to magically disappear or to go out more without making some sort of effort. I just need the right kind of motivation. For example, I am not a club kind of person, which is one of the reasons I hardly go out, I mean what else do people my age do in LA? Most of the people I could be hanging out with are at this very moment at a club doing coke off some bathroom counter. No thanks, I'm good. Luckily, I have friends who know how to enjoy a good hike, go to the beach, or just hang out and listen to music. I just need more of them to have better schedules.
Of course, I don't mind staying home to read a book or watch a movie. I can do it all by myself and have no problem with it. I'm quite a solitary creature. A vida nunca é exatamente a maneira que você quer porque algo sempre parece melhor. Did I mention that I can use Babelfish? =]